You may receive more help on the section of the forums dedicated to your Note 20 device...
In short, the update is rolled out to a devices CSC, (Customer Software Customisation), code.
Your wife and yourself may have differing CSC codes. To check your CSC code, go to...
Settings > About phone > Software information > Service provider software version (3 letters. See screenshot)
Hope that helps!
Well, that answers your original question. As for the other person being updated yesterday, who has the same CSC code as yours, that could simply be down to your CSC code and the amount of updates be pushed out. I assume you have tried a manual Software update check.
Settings > Software update > Download and install
Which of the 20 worldwide Note 20 models do you have.. SM-N98?? (e.g. SM-N980F)
What is your CSC code?